A Canadian blog

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Raw Results for July 27 2009

Because the staff are having some scheduling issues, and we did not want to miss a week if it could be helped and running with the idea Raw is having "guest hosts", my Mom called this one in, I will translate it for you. Hold on to your hats cause Mom's a hoot.

The big bald guy who plays basketball hosted. (Shaq) and he started it all off by booking a 5 man Beat the Clock match to see who is in line for Randy Orton's belt. Then the guy with the short hair came out to complain as always (Chris Jericho), where upon Shaq kissed him on the forehead. The crowd then went wild calling Jericho "Christina". Big Show came out then claimed to be the new tag team partner of Jericho. Shaq then challenged Big Show to a match. Which was a set up for Cryme Tyme to jump over from Smackdown. Thought it was lame the way Shaq kept calling Jericho "Christina"
They had the first beat the clock match. The really big guy who looks like a mountain ( Mark Henry )went up against the guy with the perm (Carleto) Carleto just ran around the ring for a few minutes before Mark Henry grabbed him by the hair pulling him into the ring. Mark Henry won with a 6:49 minute clock count. Carleto must have really pissed someone off to be put in that match.
Next was Women's match. 3 members on each team. The short girl in the white (Gail Kim) started it off against the large girl who looks like a a man (Beth Phenox) Then the chick with the crazy hair (Alicia Fox) started to punch Gail Kim. Then the chunky one in silver (Mickie James) got in there and started to punch Fox. Then Gail Kim came back in and won.
Then the midget played basketball backstage with Shaq.
Another beat the clock match.
MVP vs the guy who thinks he's a bodybuilder (I scratched my head on this one for a few minutes before realizing it was the return of Chris Masters) There were a few near falls for MVP with Chris Masters trying to put on his Masterlock but failing. Then went outside the ring pulling MVP to the floor slamming on the Masterlock causing MVP to be counted out.
The guy with the long hair wearing a Micheal Jackson jacket was in the ring yelling at Lawler (Brian Kendrick) he got kicked in the head and knocked out by the guy with the dreadlocks (Kofi Kingston) and was pinned in like 30 seconds.
Triple H got hit on the leg in the hallway. His beat the clock match was against Rhodes. He had him on the mat for most of it, using arm drags and submission holds. Then slammed his knee into Rhodes' face. Rhodes countered by crushing Triple H's knee into the post a few times before spending the next 2 minutes working the knee. He even used a figure four leg lock. Dibiase came down to interfere causing Triple H to loose to the clock. Stupid he wasted time trying to get his Petegree on Rhodes and the clock ran out. (Mom likes Triple H)
Shaq then played scrabble in the office with Santino.
The midget wrestled Chavo (again) with Chavo blindfolded. This was stupid.
Some blonde guy with a last name that began with "s" (Jack Swagger) was next for the beat the clock match. He went against the look alike (Evan Bourne) Bourne used a double low drop kick to get Swagger off his feet. But Swagger got a very powerful suplex on him. Both got a few near falls, and Bourne pushed Swagger into the turnbuckle. Evan Bourne won the match. This means that the clock to beat is still Mark Henry's time as it was not Bourne who was in the challenge.
John Cena vs the loud mouth (Miz) in another beat the clock. They just ran around the ring for the first few minutes avoiding each other then Miz went outside the ring then used a few submission holds before knocking Cena out of the ring. Cena made Miz tap beating the clock.
Cena goes now to Summer Slam to face Orton for the belt.
And the main event of the night was a tag team match with Big Show/Jericho vs Cryme Tyme with Shaq as the special ref. This was nothing but a way to get Shaq vs Big Show in the ring together. The match was a double dq, leading to Shaq jumping into the ring facing Show. Shaq then chased him out of the studio.


  1. When she says "look alike " she means Alex Shelley.
    Alex Shelley is pretty much a house hold word with us.

  2. Ha-Ha!
    Vi totally rocks. Wondered how long before you dragged her into this.

  3. man your mom should take over raw so I can stop watching this garbage

  4. This was a one off. You have no idea how I had to whimper to get her to do this. Not too mention all the translations I had to do. Seriously, other then Orton and Triple H, everyone else was " the guy in the black trunks and the other guy in the black trunks" This was a major favour that I will be repaying forever